The court welfare report confirmed Sarah’s deepest fears.  She and Greg were portrayed as a couple who can’t stand each other and are unable to put the interests of their children first.  It was cleverly contrived to give the image of a warring couple collecting evidence to denounce the other in court.  Val’s impartial representation was a dulled-down, twisted version of the truth; it was trickery and a gross misrepresentation of the facts.  In fact it was worse than that; it put a huge question mark over Sarah’s parenting skills and competence as a mother.  It was a betrayal of her precious children.

            Sarah was furious to read that they had both signed undertakings in respect of “alleged harassment”.  The truth was she had been conned into signing, against her better judgement - there was never any doubt about who was guilty of harassment.  Sarah was fuming and felt that Val should’ve done an interrogation of the police.  It would’ve then been perfectly clear that the police had responded to her emergency calls regarding Greg but that they had not responded to any of his complaints regarding her.  Val’s report should’ve reflected this important point which would’ve revealed him as a liar and troublemaker. However, further into the report, she was frenzied to read that a police superintendent had stated that although both parties were alleging harassment, officers felt there was much exaggeration on both sides.  How utterly galling can you get?  These were out and out lies.  It was criminal for the police to flippantly suggest that this was a case of two people on a ruthless road of revenge.  It was no such thing.  One was sinking in quick sand, up against an army of influential antagonists; while the other was basking in sunshine, vengefully wreaking destruction and despair at will, with all the help and encouragement from the establishment that he needed.

            Sarah was also riled to read the superintendent’s statement that he had nothing before him which would suggest that either of the parties had an alcohol addiction.  Well of course he’d say that; he didn’t want to find any evidence.  But, by golly, Sarah knew for sure that if she was the alcoholic and her name had been on the register of Alcoholics Anonymous, the police chief would certainly have had the substantiation then right under his nose.

            Everything that she had stated about him, such as his alcoholism, being unfit to care for the babies, being abusive, etc, he is stated to be saying about her!  He is also reported as saying that she should only have supervised contact and she is reported as saying she’d agree to contact “at a push.”  In truth, Sarah had not stated that.  Val had made her own interpretation.

            Val had mentioned the trickle of malicious referrals made by Greg and other members of his family to social services and she did state that he’d been requested not to persist in wasting social work time but she failed to report that he’d called social services [anonymously] during their relationship which he later proudly boasted about and the fact that he’d shifted the blame onto others at the time. 

            The so-called “burn” emerged on Val’s report.  It was stated that doctors had been unable to establish the cause of the mark.  Such lies!  The paediatricians had treated Jessie for eczema.  Val stated that social services carried out a “Section 47 Investigation” and held a “Strategy Meeting”; the conclusion being of “No definite evidence to suggest a non-accidental injury.”  Sarah learned that “Social services intend to make one more unannounced visit and assuming they are satisfied, the case will be closed.” 

            The words danced and blurred in front of Sarah’s eyes.  She nearly puked.  How dare they?  What about an acknowledgement that the “burn” was merely Common Infantile Eczema?   And she felt it would’ve been nice to see it reported that an apology had been offered from Dr Manning for her terrible mistake and out of order accusation. Sarah was hopping mad.  Why was she under scrutiny? And more to the point why hadn’t Val investigated Greg’s parenting record?    Why was there nothing at all mentioned in Val’s report about all the referrals that genuine professional sources had made over so many years concerning him and Kim and Lee to social services and the educational social worker’s department?  Surely it should’ve been a routine check?  Here is a man with a record of violence and abuse towards women and children in which schools and social health departments are aware and which Sarah had spelled out to the welfare officer and yet the welfare officer hadn’t bothered to make any enquiries as a routine measure.  Sarah was flabbergasted.  None of it made any sense.  If folk wish to foster a child they have to face an army of child welfare experts and months of interrogation before they are deemed suitable!  So why do the same rules not apply to parents?

            Val even reported that there were concerns about Jason’s development.  This was news to Sarah and a little picky to say the least.  Val also, rather overbearingly, asserted her opinion that “Both parents would do well to address the issue of stimulation.”  Hang on a minute!  This woman saw her and her dreadful ex only a handful of times - in an unnatural environment and during times of intense discussion.  What happens in the home under normal circumstances is an entirely different matter.  What qualifies a so-called welfare officer to give her authoritarian opinion?  She isn’t even a mother herself!  In Sarah’s view it is an insult to ‘stimulate’ children anyway.  They don’t need or want ‘entertaining’ and will join in some sort of activity if and when they choose or they may just quietly observe others and form their own opinion of whether that person is worth playing with or bothering with.

            Val goes on to say that no positive comments were passed by either party.  That was another lie because Sarah could distinctly recall praising Greg’s cooking and DIY skills. Val then remarked that “The attitude of the parents towards each other is a vital element in the emotional well-being of children.”  Well, obviously, but you cannot be dishonest.  If a parent is doing something wrong, for example, making malicious referrals to social services or pushing a dollop of poo [full of maggots] through the letter-box of his/her ex-partner’s house, then the victimised parent is hardly going to be seen as being friendly and “positive”. 

            Val says she’s not convinced either parent would be prepared to keep their personal feelings from Jason and Jessie.  Well, you cannot lie to kids.  They are there.  They know what is going on.  They have a right to be included and told the truth.  Kids are not stupid or robots and they won’t be manipulated. 

            She continues with “Children should have a good and meaningful relationship with both parents and to be denied this would be emotionally damaging for them.”  Well ideally, yes they should - if both parents are suitable and of good influence…. But if that were the case, Sarah mused, she wouldn’t’ve left him! 

            Val states that Greg’s parenting skills have not been tested but that she feels he is likely to be able to meet the children’s needs.  How outrageous!  Sarah described it as a deliberate cover up. 

            The welfare officer then goes on to recommend that Greg gets ‘Parental Responsibility’ and a gradual build up of contact and she closes by patronizingly asserting her view that “While the parties demonstrate an unwillingness to work together for the children’s welfare, the court will need to make defined orders to ensure the children’s best interests are attended to.”  Talk about whitewash!

            To Sarah, it was glaringly evident that Val was choosing to concentrate on trifling matters and was totally ignoring the overwhelming serious business of a father with an appalling track record of cruelty and neglect towards his children.  Maybe she had been taught to conduct her business in such fashion, with all couples.  Judging by the experiences of the majority of women in the courts that seemed almost certainly the case.  If so, she is merely doing her job and is without reproach.  But it just exposes another example of scandalous manipulation, unaccountability and invisible men in government offices deciding the grim fate of children.  It is another example of men’s wishes coming before the protection of children.

Sarah spilled out her feelings about the garbled, distorted welfare report to her solicitor but was accused of over-reacting and making much ado about nothing.  Jimmy O tried to convince her that it was a favourable report.  He also promised to request the social services records re Kim and Lee but Sarah had nagging doubts that he was just trying to shut her up.

As a result of Val’s representation, it was decided in court that Sarah should “agree” to initial supervised contact in the church for two hours per week.   Jimmy O pointed out that there was no point balking.  He insisted that it was always wise to agree contact so’s not to appear hostile which would get the justices backs up and which might make them look more favourable on Mr Potter as being the more appropriate parent to eventually get residence.  He again warned her that all fathers are granted some contact no matter what their crime.  Sarah’s arm was bent again.  The only input from the JP was, “It is clear that you two can’t stand each other’s guts....” Sarah could do nothing except grit her teeth and wish it was all that simple. 

            How convenient it was for them to project such an image.  Who the hell did that man think he was…. God?  She wanted to yell at him, knock his head against some barbed wired railings, shout from the rooftops.  She wanted the TRUTH out.  What right did they have to play about with her kids’ lives? 

            But she wasn’t willing to give slimy Greg Potter the satisfaction of seeing her charged with contempt of court.  It was another rule that Sarah loathed.  It was another rule made by the rich man to protect the rich man.... a law to protect those who sit in judgement and nothing to do with the safeguarding of children or what’s right and proper.  As she glared at the magistrate, his colleagues, the solicitors, Greg.... her head was screaming.  Unknown voices said, ‘Those men wouldn’t know the meaning of the word MORALITY if it came up and smacked them on their pompous noses.’

Sarah tagged along with her father to the local magistrate’s court.  They were hoping to persuade a judge to force her fiendish ex to cough up the two and a half thousand pounds that he’d loaned.  Luckily Sarah’s dad won and Greg was ordered to repay twelve pounds per month. 

            She and her dad were stunned though at the lies Greg told in his defence especially as he was speaking on Oath in front of a judge.  His story changed four times, he tripped himself up over dates and he made such wild claims such as the police presently investigating Sarah for being “threatening” towards others.  He also informed the judge in strong terms that his ex-fiancé was being investigated by police in connection with crimes at his old property.  He was happy to point out that he was assisting with their enquiries.  He banged on about having to go now and attend a meeting at social services regarding their investigations of Sarah.  He droned on about being asked to attend as a witness.  And he pharisaically declared that he was not responsible for any of the debts on his house - they were all his ex-wife’s - yet Sarah’s dad had just stuck various ‘judgements’ under the judge’s nose - all of which were in Gregory Potter’s name!

            Sarah smiled smugly to herself.  The transcript would be all the proof she needed of what a lying, distasteful trouble-making toad Potter was.

            Outside the courtroom, the ogre boomed:

            “You’ll pay for this Bob Thomas, I’m going to break your bloody legs for you...”

            “Don’t threaten me you fat bastard....”

            Sarah noticed her dad’s eyes blazing and his mouth frothing.  She’d never seen him with such utter hate-filled rage.  As he positioned himself to land the slime-ball a long overdue smack square on his slimy mush, Sarah swiftly planted herself at her dad’s side, took hold of his arm and said:

            “I think it’s time to go now dad.”

            As much as she really wanted her dad to sort the sod out once and for all, she knew that he was no match against Greg Potter.  He would be the one to come a cropper, not Greg.  Never Greg.

The first visitation was a nightmare.  It took place six months after she had left her archrival.  Sarah kitted her kids out in their ‘Sunday best’; after all it was a church that they were attending.  She was grateful for the use of the church and happy that the Dunn’s would be supervising because they were good hearted and well-meaning people, although Sarah was resentful that they had swallowed tricky Dickie Gregory’s lies - hook, line and sinker.

            Jason and Jessica were horrified that their mummy intended to leave them.  They howled and screamed and clung on to her so tight that she had to prise their little fingers off.  She wanted to reassure them; tell them that she’d be back soon and that everything would be ok; but she couldn’t.  They didn’t understand.  It was as if their little worlds had fallen apart.  It felt the same to their mother too.

            Surprisingly Greg was courteous towards her - but then he always was in public. He never did show himself up in front of others.  To the outside world he was Mr Charming.... Mr Perfect.  What a lucky girl Sarah had been to land a catch like him, was the outsider’s perception.  Little did any of them know the truth.  Her home, with him in her life, had become her prison and her place of punishment.  It was little better now.  He still had the state’s permission to control her movements.

            Sarah looked into the haunting, pleading eyes of her babies and, with tear-stained eyes, forced herself to leave quickly.  A lump lodged squarely in her throat.

Later, when she was just about to leave the church after collecting her babies, Gregory lunged at her clutching her late mother’s diary in his grubby fist. 

            “Thought you might like to know that my barrister is pleased to be in possession of this.... You’re going to be charged with perjury.... You’re in a lot of trouble, you are, my pet.”

            “Give me that book back.  It belongs to me,” demanded Sarah, desperately trying to snatch it from him.

            “No chance babe, this is worth more to me than you.  You can have it back later, when you come out of prison.  You’ll have to ask your solicitor though….” the sickly serpent smirked, spun on his heels and strutted off.

After the contact session there were disturbing signs of insecurity in both babies.  They were clingy and tearful for ages afterwards and they both sucked hard on their fingers - something they’d never done before.  Jason had obviously not been relaxed enough to use the toilet either because his pull-ups were soaking wet.  Was this a taste of things to come?  Sarah was in melancholic mood and could foresee major problems in the babies’ behaviour especially when unsupervised contact began, as it undoubtedly would in the not too distant future.

Only two hours had passed since they left the church when the doorbell shrilled.

            “I’m sorry Miss Hawthorne. I know you don’t want to see us - we don’t particularly want to see you, in fact we draw straws now to decide who should question you.  It’s just that we’ve had more referrals.  Someone who wishes to remain anonymous has made an emergency call to NSPCC.... May I discuss this with you?”

            “Oh for cryin’ out loud,” huffed Sarah as she eyeballed the stupid social worker.  “What now?  More vicious lies from my pathetic ex, no doubt.”

            “No, no,” gushed Miss Prim and Proper.  “Someone who lives locally and knows your family is worried about your children....”

            “Rubbish and poppycock,” Sarah butted in.  “That evil fiend is Gregory Potter.  Why can’t you see what he’s doing?  Why don’t you believe me?  Why aren’t you prosecuting him for making a mockery of social services?  Give me that piece of paper... Let’s see what the bastard is saying now....”

            Sarah balanced the list on her knee whilst cuddling Jess and Jason on either side of her.  She read it out, “Caller is concerned about physical abuse/neglect.  Caller and other members of the public have witnessed David being battered by his mother and his mother holding him by his shoulders and shaking him violently.  Caller saw mother slapping/punching David across his head.  He saw her hitting her son with a broom stock handle across his legs.  Caller and his wife saw David sitting on the pavement rubbing his legs.  Caller asked him if he was ok.  The children are always left home alone.  Mother is often drunk.  Caller rang police about this but they didn’t respond.  Caller is aware that the two-year-old girl was hospitalised for burns.  The older children are never in school.  David is thin and unhealthy-looking.  Mother is white American.  Younger children have different father.  Caller is aware that there have been many more previous referrals and although social worker named Rowbuckle is involved with the family, intervention has been ineffective.”  On and on it went....

            “God, he’s got some sodding nerve.  You don’t believe all this trash, do you?  Do my kids look neglected, ill, abused?  It’s obvious this caller is my ex.  He mentions Rowbuckle; well it was Rowbuckle who warned him to stop wasting social worker resources.  He says police didn’t respond; how would he know if they had or hadn’t?  How does he know about Jess being in hospital for ECZEMA?  And anyway, isn’t it obvious that she’s only a baby?  And he’s shot himself in the foot by describing me as white American.  No one around here knows I was born in the USA, except HIM.”

            “I’m sorry, I know all this is distressing for you but we MUST take every call seriously and we must investigate them all.  You’d be annoyed with us if we didn’t and your children were at risk,” the social worker blabbed on.

            “I’d much prefer that you do your jobs properly and target the real child abusers.  Gregory Potter is playing a very dangerous game.  He wants my kids in care and my babies to live with him.  But it isn’t them that he wants, he just wants to destroy me and he’s got you lot dancing to his tune.  I’m going mad here with the worry of it all.  I’m tearing my hair out.  Nobody is listening to me.  What if you turn up here and I’m having an off day.... you know I’m here shouting and screaming; you’re going to say that my ex is right after all and that my kids shouldn’t be living with me.  I’m overprotective of David and Anna now.  It’s unhealthy.  They shouldn’t have to watch their backs all the time like this.  They shouldn’t be wrapped up in cotton wool.  We shouldn’t have to live like this.  No one can live under this intolerable pressure.  Can I ask you a question now?  Do you have children?”

            “Yes.”

            “Right, have you ever faced the real possibility that you might lose them?”

            “No.”

            “Well, shut up then about what I would or wouldn’t be annoyed about.  Why can’t any of you see that something very iffy is going on. My EX is protected.  That bastard promised all this would happen.  It happened to his ex-wife too.  She lost her children, but no one gives a damn.  Gregory Potter has clout.  He can pull strings but I don’t know how.  I don’t understand....” Sarah broke off crying and burying her head in her baby’s warm body.  She heard the social worker mumbling some sympathetic but meaningless words as she got up to leave.  Sarah was past caring about manners and did not bother to put down her cherished children to show her unwelcome guest the door.  All she wanted to do was hug and kiss her precious babies.