“Mum, mum,” cried David as he came tearing downstairs from his bedroom.  “God’s just told me that you have to stop getting mad and stop attacking the Authorities.  He said you’ve got your message over; now you have to play it their way.  You have to be calm and respectful toward them and you have to be patient; otherwise you will fail in the job that he’s entrusted you with.  He told me to tell you that screaming, cursing, bawling and tantrums are negative energy and fit only for five-year-olds.”

            Sarah stared at her son in amazement.  Such wise words coming from a lad of eleven.  Who was she to argue with truth; wherever it came from?  The point was, getting angry was weakening her and getting her nowhere.  If she kept it up she’d end up destroying herself.  She had to change tactics.  She’d survived so far by entrusting God and by somehow detaching herself from the situation.  She knew that she and her kids would win eventually - truth and goodness were on their side.  It was unbeatable.  The underworld may be winning their battles but they’d never win the war because they simply hadn’t realised that the more malevolent games they played, the stronger Sarah’s resolve and the stronger her case became.  Everything was just a matter of time now.  God would decide that too.

Another court welfare report plopped through the letterbox.  Sarah scanned it whilst sipping her early cuppa.  She read that Greg states that he “can offer his children stability which is so important in view of Sarah’s mental instability.”  He feels the “only way he can be sure of getting substantial contact is to be awarded residence.”  But then the report states that he’d thus be prepared to allow Sarah “very generous contact.” 

            ‘Well that slaps down his argument that I’m supposed to be a bad mother,’ thought Sarah.  ‘His credibility is shattered now.’

            Sarah steamed as she realised that Val was still nitpicking about trivialities and still focussing on the theme of both parties being at fault.  Val stated that Sarah and Greg are still unwilling to work together and that neither are prepared to keep their personal feelings from their children.  Sarah swore, shook her head and remarked to Anna, who had just breezed in:

            “So I’m supposed to lie to my kids?  I’m supposed to pretend that Greg is the greatest guy on Earth?  Well Val might live in a goldfish bowl but I don’t and I don’t intend shoving you kids in one either.”

            Anna sneered, “Welfare officers, social workers, and all the other nosey parkers really get on my nerves.... They think we don’t know anything.  They seem to forget that we were on the end of Greg’s mean temper, and so was Jason.  We know and understand a lot more than adults think we do.  Even very young kids understand.  Even though they can’t talk properly, they see and hear and do remember…. and what kids hate most is all the pretence you get from some adults and being lied to.  Kids are more intelligent than the adults.  Social workers are so nasty, they try to shield kids from the good people - the ones who tell us the truth - our mums.”

            With tears in her eyes, Sarah smiled at Anna, gave her a cuddle and read on:

            “Val’s picking on me about not stimulating Jason.  Jesus wept, how often has she seen him?  A handful of times?  I’m usually busy concentrating on what she is saying and also on Jessie.”

            “What she means is that Jason should go to his dad for some stimulation.... to get punched and kicked and locked out....” Anna scoffed.

            Sarah laughed ruefully and nodded.  She continued, “I’m supposed to give Jason and Jessie ‘emotional permission to have a meaningful relationship with their father. To be denied this would be emotionally damaging for them’, according to wise owl Val.  So I’m supposed to encourage them to go and spend time with their daddy, even though he likes to get drunk and hit women and children.  That would be the quickest way to confuse them and to make them hate me.”

            “They’re already messed up,” said David joining in the discussion.  “Most of the time all the babies do when they come back from seeing their father is crawl under the table and whimper like beaten, terrified dogs.  They’re emotionally damaged because they are forced to go to a good for nothing son-of-a-bitch.  Welfare workers should walk around with a placard on them saying ‘Warning, I am a health hazard’.”

            “Yeah.  Or they come in and throw themselves face down on the floor crying and refusing to budge.  Or they’ll just lie on the floor screaming and wailing when they come in.  Because of their dad, Jessie is terrified of the dark and wakes up at night now screaming and crying out for her mummy and Jason cries out in his sleep ‘stop stop’ or ‘go away’.   I’ve even heard him saying ‘no daddy, go mummy, stay mummy’,” added Anna.

“And for most of the evening after contact we have to put up with tantrums; they bite us, hit us, barge about the house, bang into things, chuck their toys in anger, swing on the table, ” commented David, “and they always come home with lots of bruises and cuts.”

            “And animal scratches,” said Anna, “on their faces and necks.”

            Sarah interrupted, “Val’s even twisted that too.  She says here that we both look for physical marks and illness as proof that Jason and Jessica are at risk from the other.  For cryin’ out loud, all I’m trying to do is defend myself and tell her and Meg the facts when I’m questioned by them because of some wild allegation from Greg after he’s rushed them off to a doctor’s surgery or hospital....”

            David steam-rolled on, “And Jason walks around saying, ‘bitch, bitch, bitch....’ and ‘David hit me, mummy drunk, Anna hurt me, mummy bitch....’ just cos his ugly father teaches him to lie.  F…. ing mental abuse, that is.  Welfare experts need shooting if they really believe that Jason and Jessica are not now emotionally damaged because of visits with their dad.”

            “Well, it’s never about the facts,” said Sarah.  “Bloody social services encourage child abuse.  Val says here that she has ‘no evidence’ to support my claim that ‘Jason and Jessica will be damaged’ by their dad.” 

            “Yeah, just like the police say there is ‘no evidence’ that Greg is harassing.... and that Hollowhead is guilty of smashing my arm into a wall,” sneered David. 

            “Exactly,” continued Sarah.  “She even says that contact thus far is benefiting them because their father is ‘warm and loving’ and ‘attentive to their needs’ and that ‘Jason and Jessica appear to be happy there’.”

            “He’s not going to show his true colours in front of her,” scoffed Anna.  “And kids don’t cry all the time.  They soon learn to cope when they know they have to go somewhere; like school.”

            “Yeah, they save up all their emotions for when they come back,” said Sarah sorrowfully.  “Val should come here and watch the way they are virtually uncontrollable when they first come home for at least an hour and sometimes longer.”

David piped up, “She should watch how they change when it’s time to go for contact too.”

“Yes; she should watch how they scream and run away when he comes to pick them up and how I have to carry them out and then how I have to prise their little fingers off me so that I can put them in his car....” said Sarah.

            Anna continued, “Poor things whine and run and hide when he turns up for them.  Jason runs into the loo shouting ‘Don’t want to go to daddy.  Don’t want to go to daddy’.”  

“True,” sighed Sarah, “and usually I have to coax or carry them out with one or both of them clinging to me.  And when their father grabs Jessie from me, she cries, leans over to me and says ‘mummy, mummy’.  Then, when I insist that they go in his car, they sit there looking so sad or they cry or they suck ferociously on their fingers.  God it is heart wrenching.  I wish they could understand that I hate handing them over but that I’m being forced to.  Life is so bloody cruel.”

  She should watch the way Greg jerks Jason’s hand back as they walk to the door when they come home.  He does it to stop Jason pulling and to make him cry, so that he can say that the reason Jason is crying is because he doesn’t want to come home.  I’ve seen him do that a few times,” observed Anna.

            “He’s been doing that for a while now,” said Sarah.  “Val should come and see all the toileting problems Jason now has.  She should come here and see how often he walks into the living room or kitchen and just does a pee or poo in his undies and how he screams and sobs and murmurs ‘mum, mum, mum’ when I do get him to sit on the loo.  She should see him in bed at night and watch him thrashing his head and body in his sleep, several times a night, every night.  Yet all the so-called welfare experts say is that all young children get upset and have tantrums, toileting accidents, bizarre behaviour…. when they are passed between parents, especially estranged ones.  Well they wouldn’t be so blasé if this was happening to their children and they knew that the root of the problem was their evil minded ex.  Christ, Jessie comes home with nappy rash nearly all the time, both of them regularly have spotty faces now because he feeds them up on chocolate and when I ask him nicely not to give them too much sweet stuff, he tells me to shut my face.  They’re nearly always ill, especially during the colder weather.  They come back with coughs, colds, sickness, diarrhoea, earache, tummy ache…. It’s never ending.  I’m sure he can’t be bothered to change their clothes if they get wet or he doesn’t check to see if they are warm enough.  And he’s got the damned nerve to write statements for court saying that my babies don’t want to come home after contact, that Jason runs back to the car when he drops them off and that he has to report me to social services because he can’t discuss his concerns with me because I give him abuse.  Hells effing bells.”

As they spoke, the doorbell shrilled.  The Devil himself was waiting to pick up Jason and Jessica.  When Sarah finally got her sobbing children into his car, Greg began tormenting her:

            “You’re walking on thin ice, you are.  You are so close to being arrested for child abuse and neglect.  Police have got their eye on you.  Remember when they cautioned you because your kids were caught on CCTV at risk of being swept out to their deaths?  They were going to charge you then.  You could see the danger they were in - their photo was splashed across the Daily Post.”

            Greg wasn’t supposed to know about that.  Sarah’s mind was racing like carriages on a roller coaster.  Why would he bring that up now, over a year later?  It was as if he’d just been talking about it with someone in the know.

            He continued to goad, “They call you the mad cow.  They think it’s hilarious when you call them out.  I did warn you, didn’t I that they’d never help you?  Those street gangs will never leave you and that idiot son of yours alone.  You can call police on them until the grim reaper calls but it won’t do you any good.  They’re protected.  And in any case everyone believes me, not you.... They’re on my side.  You were nearly charged when you struck that lad with a stick and when you shoved that other lad over a wall.... You’d better get used to the idea.  Whatever happens, you and your two brats will always get the blame.  It’s only a matter of time before you end up in the dock.  You see, they’re out to get you.”

                 She pretended not to take much notice or to take heed of his menacing warnings.  She refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing that he could still unnerve her.  But what he said was hard to ignore because it was true.  So too was the fact that he knew too much about her and about David and Anna.  Somehow she had to fight back - not just against him, but his protectors too - the establishment.  She had to get them before they got her.  But how?  That was the million dollar question.  Her book was a good idea and although she’d had quite a lot of encouraging replies, no one had yet shown a flicker of real interest in it.  She had some serious thinking to do.  Right now though she had to deal with the piece of bacterium standing in front of her.  Struggling to lighten the atmosphere, she swiftly changed the subject:

            “You do watch the kids closely, don’t you?  I mean, outside.... with the animals.... Only you have to be very careful about hygiene.... You can get some terrible diseases from faeces.  It can even cause blindness.”

            “Oh shut up you stupid tart.  My kids are safe with me.  They’re at risk from YOU.  They won’t be coming off the register.... You’ll see.”

            He revved up and roared off like grease lightening.  Sarah stood as cold as a corpse.  Her body began to tremble and tears began to sting her eyes as she watched her babies disappearing out of sight.

Sarah soon found herself sitting amongst a roomful of snakes again.  The child protection co-ordinator, Glen Snakey had called another conference.  This time Sarah was surrounded by her heavy artillery - her father and her solicitor.  Also in the snake pit were the two great deceivers - vipers, Gregory Potter and his doting advocate Kelvin Boor.  Not only did they have the cheek to turn up, but they actually sat in smart suits, seemingly all innocent and cosy like school boys with their little note pads and pens.

            “What the hell is that scum bag doing here and that bloody low life lawyer of his?” belched Sarah’s dad.

            “Christ knows.  It’s enough to make you spit,” snarled Sarah.

            Davina nudged her client and glared at Bob Thomas.  “Shut up you two, and remember Sarah keep your trap shut if you want your kids off the register.”

            The Chair opened the proceedings.  “Dr Knowles can you tell us your findings on the subjects,” he politely addressed the psychiatrist. 

            Sarah was seething.  How dare they label her and her children ‘subjects’.  She bit her lip.  Her archenemy and his mate sat upright and smug.  The doctor responded on behalf of himself and Dr Dennis:

            “We have had quite in-depth dealings with our patients over the past few months.”

            ‘Good God, we’re bloody patients now,’ thought Sarah as she struggled to swallow the insult and then strived to sustain an emotionless expression for the benefit of the two tarantulas.  She heard the doctor say:

            “I report as follows: Ms Hawthorne had experienced some odd smells - some smoky and some pleasantly perfumery.  She also found half-burned tapers lying around the house.  Her children David and Anna had had an encounter with God prior to this.  They first saw him in white robes in a field.  Since the fire, social services have been trying to form an impression of whether the children were in danger and whether their mother was mentally disordered in some way.

            This has taken place on a background of domestic stress.  It is clear that she feels quite beleaguered and it is felt that others’ perception of her is not helped by the fact that her children are kept at home for their education.

            She was not guarded but felt under duress.  It seemed that her ideas regarding the causation of the fire and the degree to which the police would go in conniving with Greg were a little far fetched but not out of the question.  She has a belief in Spiritualism and thought that there were supernatural influences at work.  She chose that explanation above the rather more obvious one that her son may have been responsible for the fires and tapers lying around. 

            It is easy to see how she might have cultivated the belief that Greg had the influence that he did if what she says about their relationship is true.

            There was no evidence of hallucinations or formal thought disorder or a significant mental disorder.

            It seems likely that David set the fire.  He and Anna lead lives isolated from other children and it seems likely therefore that they engage in flights of fancy and imagination.

            David and Anna are polite, pleasant but understandably wary.  Neither appeared miserable or depressed and neither voiced any ideas that would be unusual or influenced by a psychotic process.

            The children described activities on the street.  The ideas of which, although not psychotic, appeared to be rather unpleasant. 

            Both children stated that the registration had restricted their activities as their mother was more worried about them and would not allow them out so much.  Neither could think of any benefits of being on the ‘At Risk’ register.

            The overall impression is of a family not showing any signs of a serious mental health disorder.  However we feel that the children are socially isolated and fear that they are influenced by their mother’s strong ideas only.  Despite this we feel that they are able to recognise that their mother’s views do not correspond with those of others in the wider community.

            We do not know if the children are damaged by their mother’s ideas; at the moment we would tend towards saying that they have not been.

            Finally many home-educated children grow up confident and useful members of society.  It hard for us to detect any benefits to David and Anna from the ‘At Risk’ registration.”

Meg’s and Daphne’s report was fairly brief and uninspiring but their main point was that Sarah has a “preoccupation with society being corrupt and to that end we fear that her strong views may be damaging to David and Anna.”

            Sarah fidgeted uncomfortably on her chair. She was aware that the air was decidedly frosty and her heart was feeling heavy like lead.  The reports seemed to her to be on the whole a little wooly.  In her mind there was no foregone conclusion that her kids would now be coming off the register and the blank expressions on everyone’s faces gave nothing away.  She looked to her solicitor for a flicker of reassurance but there was none coming.  Davina just raised her eyebrows as if to say:

            “I haven’t got the foggiest idea what they’ll decide to do.”  Her dad was just as baffled.

            The two self-satisfied cockroaches sat serenely, basking in the irresoluteness of it all.  It would appear that everyone else was just as unsure, as there followed an uneasy, stony silence.  Eventually members were asked for their views.  No one spoke except for the Reptile himself:

            “As I am the father of Jason and Jessica, I would like to express my concerns about their mother’s mental state.  She sees Devils and other spirits and she talks to them.  She has not given us a satisfactory explanation about who started the fire and why and therefore I cannot be sure that there won’t be another fire in her house.  As such I strongly recommend that my children remain registered, ‘At Risk’ whilst they reside with their mother.  It may even be more appropriate if they come to live with me whilst their mother gets psychiatric treatment....”

            Sarah was bursting to respond but before she could open her gob, Davina flashed her a penetrating glare.  Immediately she clammed up and sank back dutifully into her chair.  But after a pause, she couldn’t resist referring to the psychiatrists’ report and repeating in a calm, matter-of-fact manner, “I would just like to say that the psychiatrists don’t see any benefit to the children remaining on the register.”

            The room became mute again.  People sat like statues, not knowing what to do next until the Chair finally asked for the panel’s opinion.  Still they were in a quandary and all they could do was glance embarrassingly at each other, looking for guidance.  In the end it was Meg who turned up trumps and bravely put her head up on the parapet by voting for the removal of all their names from the register.  This was much to Sarah’s surprise and great relief.  Naturally all the other sheep then voted their agreement with the social workers.

            But the look on the Lizard’s face was a picture.  Greg’s priggish perspective was smashed in an instant.  He now looked like the schoolboy who has just been robbed of his last rolo.  And his equally conceited counsel looked so shocked that Sarah could’ve sworn that he’d just seen a ghost himself!

            Davina and Bob threw Sarah a triumphant smile and she raised her eyes up to her heavenly father and breathed her secretive thankyous.  For it was surely he who had held her hand today.  She then indulged herself with some wishful thinking.  Maybe Meg was getting Godly vibes after all....