DIARY OF A YEAR IN THE LIFE
OF A SINGLE MOTHER.
sharon@kilby18.freeserve.co.uk
This diary has been
appraised by SCOTT MEREDITH Literary Agency; the comments of which are published here.
Also published are the comments of several other Publishers and Agencies.
SCOTT MEREDITH: This is a terrifying work, a searing and unsparing
account of the torment you have suffered at the hands of a brutal, even maniacal ex-spouse, a vengeful stalker, ne’er-do-well
and sadist who embodies the most fervid and fearful possibilities one could face. You
write of this year of torment without self-pity, with detachment, control, a notable unwillingness to sentimentalise or make
special pleading for your circumstance and to open this anywhere is to be moved by the unforced clarity and integrity of the
narration.
The justice
system – and the “protecting” agencies – are incompetent, venal, corrupt and essentially against the
single mother victimized as you have been by an errant, abusive and brutal spouse and what has emerged from these pages is
an indictment of the system, handled with courage. The ordeal has been extreme
and you’ve recorded it with unflinching self-awareness and a great deal of insight.
We are taken
with many aspects of this manuscript.
ANDREWS McMEEL PUBLISHING: We became thoroughly absorbed in your manuscript,
and in the meantime completely disgusted with your ex-fiance and his stalking. What
a travesty!
We could see
women’s magazines and feminist/womanist publications printing parts of this manuscript as a feature item.
Woman Power
and Perseverance.
PEACHTREE PUBLISHERS,
LTD: It looks like you have a wonderful
idea for a book and these ideas are presented well. Your diary is important. Good luck.
PENGUIN: Best of luck with finding a home for your worthy idea.
JOHN HAWKINS &
ASSOCIATES, INC: Your story is very powerful,
and will surely provide much hope and inspiration for a large readership.
MARION BOYARS PUBLISHRES
LTD: We found your manuscript very
moving.
WRITERS HOUSE: Your material is interesting and was afforded
careful consideration.
JEANNE FREDERICKS LITERARY
AGENCY, INC: This work has its merits.
RANDOM HOUSE: We have given the enclosed publishing proposal
careful consideration.
FREDERICK HILL ASSOCIATES
LITERARY AGENCY: We have read your manuscript
carefully …. Your life as a single mother raises some important issues.
DARLEY ANDERSON LITERARY
AGENCY: You have been through a terrible
time and have tremendous guts and determination. Sadly we don’t handle books like this. We receive 120 submissions
per week and can only take on two or three new writers a year.
GRANADA TV: We read your story with mounting horror. You have amazing stamina and stickability to keep on going. We
may be able to turn it into TV at some stage.
INTRODUCTION
My diary A YEAR IN
THE LIFE OF A SINGLE MOTHER details the events in my life as a single parent of Andrew, Michelle, Jordan and Melissa from
5th October 1998 to 5th October 1999.
It starts with the
forewood - a brief background of why I left my older children’s incompetent and irresponsible father and the alcoholic,
violent and abusive father of my babies.
Much of the diary is
fairly typical of an ordinary busy mother - but it raises some very serious thought-provoking issues, which affect an alarming
number of people of all ages. I speak about myself as a victim of domestic violence,
my children as victims of child abuse, my fight against the control of and molestation from my depraved ex-fiancé, my continuous
struggle with his death threats, evil intentions to snatch my babies and his vile determination to have all my cherished children
displaced. It exposes my dealings and subsequent lack of faith and distrust in
the police. It covers the harassment I endured from the NSPCC, the lies of my
local Council and my torment at the hands of Social Service gangsters. It reveals
my challenges with local street thugs and an aggressive dangerous dog and my protests at our Authorities’ inability
to protect its decent law-abiding unassuming, peaceful citizens. It outlines
my belief that school is a form of child abuse. It covers my ideas of an appropriate
schooling system and my methods of home-educating my two older children. My diary
tells of the normal everyday hassles and pleasures of rearing children and the problems and benefits of going it alone. I talk about my court battles, my feelings of loss for my late mum, my fight with
the flab and most importantly my NEW FOUND FAITH IN GOD.
The diary discloses
my thoughts on life regarding the all important issues of: injustice, corruption and double standards at the highest, most
powerful levels of society and our incompetent judicial system. I refer to the abhorrent handling by police of such cases
as the Stephen Lawrence murder enquiry in London and my admiration for the sheer grit and determination of his mother to find
justice, and the police scandal regarding the Hillsborough football tragedy. I
speak of my desire for equal status for all people of all races; physical and mental health; and most alarmingly the all-controlling
‘underworld’.
I have chosen the diary
style because I do not proclaim to be an expert or ‘professional’ on any of the topics I write about. It is not the intention to lecture or advise others – I’m merely a humble mum wishing to develop
a camaraderie with like-minded folk and those who regard themselves as victims of society or who have suffered a miscarriage
of justice. However if anyone benefits from or can identify with my story I will
have been blessed.
I feel this diary is
important because I wish to help raise the status of parenthood. I would like
it to be recognised as one of the most important, challenging, responsible and worthwhile jobs. I want to help raise
the awareness of children - of their need to be nurtured and treasured and that in return their gift is priceless. I would hope that my experience may help other victims of domestic violence find the courage to break free
and in the doing save their children who suffer in silence. I hope that this
book will help support other lone parents and it would be my deepest desire to help people stand up for their rights and gain
justice. This can only happen when the masses of ‘ordinary’ people
challenge our corrupt government, police chiefs and judicial system in order to eradicate the all-powerful, evil, secret underworld
that rules us. Ultimately it would be my greatest wish for everyone to find God,
become righteous and live according to his rules.
SPECIAL THANKS:
to my four children
without whom this diary would not be possible.
This book is written
with love, devotion and dedication to Andrew, Michelle, Jordan and Melissa who greatly inspire and teach me daily and to my
parents - my late mum for her love, wisdom, family values, common sense and strength and to my dad for his humour, individuality,
guidance, love and support.
A MUM IS:
a committed, dedicated
worker; on call: twenty four hours a day, seven days a week - for life. She takes no holidays, receives surprisingly and insultingly
low status, no pay, minimal guidance or support and no training. She is loving,
protective, nurturing, flexible, understanding, tolerant, patient, organised, busy, energetic, creative, skilful, a Jack of
all trades, a proficient nurse, teacher, psychologist and above all else a guardian angel.
She is also fortunate, blessed and honoured.
FOREWORD.
My marriage of five
years produced Andrew [now ten] and Michelle [now nearly nine.] When I was with
their father it felt like I had three kids! My ex, Gaven, would insist on just
being their friend. He simply refused to be a father to them. A father in my
book largely meant being an authoritarian figure. However as Gaven proved incapable
in that department I preferred that he just leave me to get on with the disciplining side of parenting. But being a child himself he’d obnoxiously overrule me, just for the hell of it, every time I tried
to ‘lay down the law’. As littleuns, Andrew and Michelle quickly
learned the art of skilful manipulation and boy could they play me and Gaven against each other with resounding ease.
After our divorce I
naively thought we’d get along better - be more civil and thus be good role models for the children’s benefit
but Gaven’s behaviour degenerated. He started: drinking, smoking, gambling….
and hanging out with alcoholics and drug takers twenty years his junior. He’d
make access arrangements with his kids then would: break his promises, be too tired, too drunk or would just forget to turn
up. On the days he did bother to take Andrew and Shell out, he virtually left
them to their own devices or he’d bring them back early complaining that he’d “had enough of them”
or that he “can’t control them.”
After every visit with
him I’d laboriously embark on a ‘calming down’ ritual with Andrew and Shell.
My kids behaved as hateful, hyped-up, aggressive, destructive and belligerent juvenile delinquents. Consequently when they were ages seven and six, and much to my relief, they decided they didn’t want
to see their dad anymore because “he’s an idiot and so are his mates.”
After a handful of
disastrous relationships I met and betrothed my now ex-fiancé Gareth Williams. Our
three-year imbroglio produced Jordan [now nineteen months] and Melissa [now four months.]
For the first eighteen months or so Gareth was everything my ex husband wasn’t.
He had the most important qualities that I’d desired in a man. He
was a kind, caring, loving, disciplinarian figure to my kids and was affectionate, charming and generous towards me. For a while we were in love and happy as Larry, until I became aware of Gareth’s
possessive, distrusting, controlling, violent, manic-depressive and criminal side. It
gradually became evident that he suffered a ‘Jekyll and Hyde’ personality and was an idle, alcoholic, swindling
spendthrift. I became a victim of domestic violence and unbeknown to me Andrew
and Shell became victims of child abuse. Eventually I decided I could no longer
tolerate Gareth’s oppressive behaviour; I no longer believed his pathetic promises of reform and I owed it to myself
and my four children to escape the destructive and terrifying life style that we’d grown accustomed to. So after yet another furious altercation and the umpteenth threat to leave I finally summoned enough courage
to do just that - on October 5th 1998. Now I find myself single again
and with four children to raise - two of them babies. Here follows the sequence
of events and some thoughts on life.
